Is it too much to ask
That when I washed my face at the sink in my gym
I did not see the CNN news-crawl crawling with the words “another mass shooting.”
Is it too much to ask
That I don’t bear this knowledge alone
That I can tell my husband as soon as I get home, to share the pain, the horror
Is it too much to ask
That I don’t keep silent during dinner
That I don’t refrain from sharing the pain because he doesn’t know yet
I don’t want to be the one to break his heart
Is it too much to ask
That I wake up in the morning not feeling anxious and afraid
And when I do wake up feeling anxious and afraid
It’s only because I had too much wine last night, or had a bad dream that I don’t remember
Is it too much to ask
That I don’t get used to this
this murder-suicide that my country seems so intent on committing
Is it too much to ask
That I don’t feel a need to write these words instead of working on my novel or my essays or my short stories or anything but my grief over another mass shooting
That my grief doesn’t grow with every shooting, every time one person is injured, one person is killed
Is it too much to ask
To not talk about how mass shootings could be prevented if only:
if only that shooter hadn’t been bullied by his fellow students
if only that shooter hadn’t lost his job
if only that shooter had met a “decent” woman who would have sex with him
if only the Tree of Life Synagogue had had better security
if only houses of God were not perceived as sanctuaries
if only the Hot Yoga Tallahassee studio had had metal detectors at the entrance
if only the yogis hadn’t been in child pose and at peace
if only the worshipers at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church hadn’t welcomed the shooter to pray with them
if only they hadn’t had so much faith
if only everyone carried a gun
if only we all lived in constant fear would we be free
Is it too much to ask
to live in a society that values the freedom to go about our daily lives unmolested and unafraid, not worrying about whether today is the day you die because you went
to your yoga practice
to your place of worship
to the movie theater
to a concert
to work
Is it too much to ask
To live without fear
To live without being in a constant state of grief
Categories: #NeverAgain
Marie A Bailey
Writer, blogger, knitter, cat lover, and introvert.
Wow, do you and I have the same writing style. Amazingly written. Great work indeed! I too, take time from my major writing projects to blog about current political events of madness in the world. Imagine how much more work we could all accomplish if this insanity didn’t prevail. Prayers to every victim of true evil in this world.
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Thank you.
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No, it is not too much to ask, Marie. It seems reasonable that we all should be able to go through life without worrying about the deranged among us who cannot resist killing others. Excellent post.
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Thanks, John. I appreciate your kind words ❤️
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♥️
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I most definitely don’t think it’s too much to ask, Marie. Why should we live in fear that an unstable individual, who puts no value on the precious gift of life, could so selfishly take our life or that of our loved ones? Praying for the victims and their families. Thank you for this, Marie. ❤
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Thank you, Jill ❤
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I’m with John and Jill…but I definitely feel all you wrote…strange to say, but thank you for articulating it for me and others.
peace
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Thanks, for reading, Laura, and for your kind words.
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It’s. Just. Endless. I’m starting to think America has a death wish.
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Me too 😥
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Thank you for saying what I and many others are thinking and feeling. x
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Thank you so much, Cheryl. I really appreciate it ❤️
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We all know it’s not too much to ask. Thank you, Marie.
It scares me that we as a country are becoming numb. How many people killed does it take now to be major news?
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Not too long ago there was a school shooting in Colorado. I think *only* two people died so the news media covered it for a few hours. That is part of the problem, isn’t it. We’re being conditioned to only respond with X number of people are killed.
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“When” X number of people are killed. (I hit Reply by accident.)
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Yes, exactly so, Marie.
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Beautiful, Marie. Like everyone else said, it’s not too much to ask. None of us should have to live in fear. As Jill said, life is precious.
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Thank you, Linda ❤️ I had some trepidation with this post but I’m relieved to know I’m not the only one with these thoughts ❤️❤️
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My heart breaks when these things happen and in reading your essay, Marie. Well said.
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Thank you, Rose Mary ❤️
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Such a moving piece. It’s never too much to ask.
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Thank you, Jeri ❤️
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What an amazing poem! Wow, Marie! Yes, is it too much to ask that when we write about this subject it’s fantasy and not nonfiction?
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Thank you so much, Luanne! Given how much I admire and enjoy your poetry, your comments mean a lot to me ❤️ Yes, I wish this were fiction. If only.
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If only is right.
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I love this, Marie, especially the rambling and yet concise nature of the piece.
It’s to the point that mass shootings have become common news, almost ordinary, almost expected. It’s scary, and surreal. Up here in Alaska, people LOVE their guns, they worship their guns, they are firm in the belief that they need, really need them for, like, protection from predators of both the two and four legged variety. I see men packing at the grocery store, on the hiking trails, the dog park, etc. It’s scary because I think a lot of these people (and women up here pack, too, don’t get me wrong) carry a gun with the secret desire or fear of someday having to use it. Which, in turns, could easily make them overly defensive, if/when a situation gets tight. Whatever the case, I am becoming more and more discouraged by the policies of this country.
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It is surreal that with all the evidence to the contrary, people believe that carrying guns make them safer. Recently in Florida two motorists got into a fight and shot each other. Fatally. Guns saved no lives that day. I do think some people are hoping for a John Wayne moment which is really scary. And I’ve heard that the last thing anyone should do is use a gun to protect themselves from wildlife, like bears. I’m pinning all my hopes on 2020.
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